Scary News

So I have really been trying not to scare myself during this pregnancy with what ifs and such but last night I got so news from my OB that upset me. I have also tried really hard to stay off the Internet with some of the symptoms I have been having. On Monday as I said in the previous post, we went to have an ultrasound to find out what we are having. Friday night my OB leaves me a message saying she has had a chance to go over my ultrasound results and there is a problem with the umbilical cord. Most healthy umbilical cords have three arteries or yet two arteries and one vein. Mine however is what they call a Single Umbilical Artery, which means there is only one artery and one vein. Over the message she tells me that it can cause abnormalities in anatomy and that we should see a Perinatal Specialist. So instead of staying away from the internet and just waiting to see what the specialist has to say I start my own research which was a VERY bad idea.

I find that if I write about it then I don't cry or freak out as much, unless of course I am talking to my mother, then I just cry and cry. I am not asking why me, but more of what does this mean? Am I going to be able to handle this? Is the baby going to live? I have a lot to be thankful for in my life and I don't want to forget that ever, I know my Heavenly Father loves me and I will never forget that. I don't blame God, I don't blame myself, I just want to know what now? I pray that this baby is as healthy as can be and won't have to deal with too much in life. I pray that I can be the best mother I can and show this child all the love I have.

I am sorry this is such a depressing blog but I needed to get it out and just release some of this weight I feel. God be with you all and with my baby.